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my_pictureI was laid off from my job as an online flash developer three days before Christmas in December 2008. That set into motion some really interesting things. About five months later, at age thirty nine and a half, I got married for the first time in my life. My fiance and I decided to get married, rather than wait for a more optimal time like we had been planning. We moved in with my parents in the house I own with them, and decided to move forward, full steam ahead, on starting a family.

I’m signing as “Just Wondering” because I feel like I’ve always been wondering about everything. I’m a big worrier by nature (if you knew my mom, you’d understand why) and I’ve always analyzed things, my feelings, situations, decisions. Being someone who didn’t find Mr. Right until I was in my late thirties, I spent years wondering if I’d ever find him. I wondered a lot about what I should be doing to move along and be productively building my future, since my Mr. Right was late.

Now, I’m wondering about all kinds of different things that have popped up after getting married. When Mr. Right is late, apparently it will have some impact on one’s life forever. I’m finding that out. I’m really glad I learned a lot when I was single about being independent, trusting my instincts, knowing my thoughts, and what I want. I’m needing all of that and more to get through my current situation. I knew it was going to be a lot of change, but I had hoped it would be easier to deal with everything.

My family has never had good communication skills and I think that is one of the reasons a lot of problems have never been resolved in my family. I’ve never had anyone to talk to because I’m the only person I know who got married later. All my thoughts were always lost on everyone in my family because no one was in my situation. My mom and sisters were convinced I was just wasting my life because I wasn’t looking hard enough for someone to marry.

I hope you enjoy reading my entries and can get some entertainment or enlightenment out of some of the topics I bring up. These are all things I’ve wondered about as a single person and now I’m wondering new things as a (finally) married person. I think I’ve found the answers to some of the questions I’ve had over the years about finding Mr. Right. Now that I’m married, I understand even more how being single longer than others has worked for me and worked against me. If you have questions on that, I’m the girl to ask.

I have a whole slew of new questions these days too. It would be great if someone out there has experience with these same things and can help shed some light on these topics for me. When it takes a while to find Mr. Right, you have extra issues to take care of that just don’t pop up if you get married earlier. Many more issues than I expected.

I’m tired of just wondering and not having anyone to ask. I’ve been doing that for as long as I can remember. At this time in my life, I’d appreciate the help. It just feels like there is more on my plate now than ever before and I’m running out of time to wonder. I need to just know and decide quickly. I’m trying to be as knowledgeable as I can, before I make these decisions. I didn’t wait this long to just make mistakes and blow it all now. So I find myself being too cautious and scared to move and that won’t work, not with the big biological clock ticking in my ears and my mom’s criticisms coming in louder than that. I’m trying to keep a clear head and find what’s best for me and the family I want to start. I think open communication is a good start. I’ve always felt better when I write things out. It makes me feel like I’m getting a grasp on things, when I see everything laid out on the computer screen in front of me or on a piece of paper.

I’m lucky I found Mr. Right because I can talk to him, but we’re both going through this for the first time. I’m really glad he’s with me though. Just having him here makes me think we can really pull off all the things on our list. He’s definitely Mr. Right. Did he really have to be that late, though? Just wondering.

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